Summer Break Fail Awards

It is that time of the year when football fans have nothing to do (except Arsenal fans who whine even in their sleep...this time of the year is reserved for whining about how Barca are needlessly courting their brightest star Cesc). The time of the year Madrid start pimping anything that moves, and the time Football journalists are so starved of news they'll print just about anything that anyone says. In honor of all those times we spent laughing at the ridiculous statements of intellectual stalwarts like Domenech, Deco, Pele etc, here are the Fail awards from Football news of the past 2-3 days.

Why the delay in contract talks

EPL Rapture : PRIMETIME

Needless to say, we were all quite shocked by the misinterpretation of our term "Horsemen"...(not to mention the absence of Xavi, Messi, Iniesta and Villa in any form!!). I was in half a mind to take them to court, but then everything I know in life, I learnt from the 30 second trivia sections after a Centurions episode...so it didn't seem right...

In which Robin Van Persie shuts them up

It is that time of the year again when the Barca Thespian group takes its act off the field and puts it on air. The Friends of Fabregas society mugs up its lines, rehearses them once or twice in front of mirrors at their training grounds (the ones in front of which Busquets practices his coy now-I-see-you, now-I-don't routine) and spits them out through the propaganda press of Catalonia in a manner as choreographed as their passing. It is the single most despicable thing during the summer transfer season, at least from the perspective of an Arsenal fan. The average Arsenal fan is infuriated enough with the thorough lack of signings (19 years olds from Charlton don't count) at his club without these dim wits mouthing off about their collective man crushes on Fabregas. It is no secret that Cesc wants to leave and that Barca want him. Why not put the money where their mouth is and just get the bloody thing over with? This public flirtation is nauseating.

It is time RVP took things into his hands and just asked them to shut the fuck up. He is becoming very good at this really.

The Revenge of Faguson and Whiner

Kubler - Ross Model : Coping With Rapture

EPL Rapture - Beginning...Of the End Of Days

Speculation has been rife among all our readers (ok..."both" our readers) about lack of gloating over the spectacular Final. Unfortunately, we have been under the CIA/NSA enforced Radio silence on those who pieced together the true meaning of the apocryphal signs all around us lately. Once we figured out internet blogs didn't fall under the purview of "Radio", and before they figure out how we've brilliantly exploited a loophole - we choose freedom of speech and quickly release to the public, what the government doesn't want you to know. With good reason.

PunaltyShootout Expose

5 Ways to Say Goodbye to Paul Scholes