You can imagine how much bravery it takes for someone to make their comeback post about a team no one knows... You can also imagine how quickly I now clap my hands over my ears and start screaming whenever I hear a sentence starting with "1st place? But it's only Round..."... We are the Champions los Che los Che Campeones Los Che.... But in all seriousness, I’m not a deluded guy, I wouldn’t kid myself, after all I’m the kind of guy with both feet firmly planted on the back of the giant goddess turtle that the rest of you morons think is some lithosfear or some crap. Valencia might not end up winning the league, a lot because they don’t thrive on these old wives' tales about the importance of (air-quotes) Consistency, and Uniformity of tactics, and Showing up to practice everyday... (not to mention –airquote- Not beating the crap out of opposition forwards because they “looked at me wrong...”). At least the last may be fixed what with Marchena gone, and Albelda old and mellow.
Che had 76% possession against Gijon in the first half, and played an incredibly fluid kind of football that made the following Barca 8-0 demolition look almost boring. The kind of football I never thought possible when I first looked at the lineup – Canales partnering Albelda, Pablo and Jonas supporting Soldado – seemed a little too lopsided towards the right to facilitate fluidity in the attacking 3rd. But Jonas started in the hole and quickly settled on the left flank, while Pablo effortlessly shifted from left flank to right flank. Their blinding 1st half was about 2 players – Banega and Albelda. The latter gave Liga a schooling in defensive MF as a ball-winning distributor that Busquets and Alonso could watch tapes of for hours and hours without success. I can’t really wax lyrical about Banega since he was just as awesome as Ever, nothing awesome-r than usual – but quite the spectacular genetically manipulated mutant baby of Zidane’s ease on the ball, and David Pizzaro’s ever-presence and swiveling away from pressure; hands down the best Midfielder in football today especially given Iniesta being pushed further up the pitch thereby minimizing use of his incredible ability to collect from deep and dictate play.
I still prefer Tino Costa to Canales, who created some chances in the 1st half but rapidly fell away to lack of discipline and stamina in the 2nd. Pablo created the first goal (and what...a...beautifully built up goal it was, starting from who else but Albelda and Banega) from the left flank, but really looked a lot better on the right, where he set up Jonas to hit the upright, and himself almost chipped the keeper. Jonas in the hole only works in fits and starts (don’t...), and relies too much on short one-touch passes to be useful on the left flank, for which Piatti who came on as a sub looked far far better. As much as I like the 3 man MF with Costa included (a 3 man MF about which I raved and raved earlier), if Costa has really fallen out of favor with Emery (not being injured currently..), given how much I liked the look of an almost early-Messi-y Piatti when he came on, and the one single moment of Jonas’ through ball to Soldado in the 4-3 win against Racing in round 1, all mean I’d love to see 4-4-2 with Albelda Ever Pablo Piatti MF Diamond and Jonas behind Soldado.
On Defence, they didn’t concede...nuff said. But I will say this, Jordi Alba has finally made a believer out of me! Bruno hasn’t though... although he is much less ugly and annoying than Miguel so I’ll take him... So why such a long post about a Valencia side only I care about? Because for the first time in 3 years, I think they might just take points off Barca tonight. Last year, they were the ONLY team (in all tournaments) to have majority possession in a game against Barca (51% at the Mestalla... and I’m quite the sure the next highest number would have been hardly 37% by Villarreal/Atletico), a game they lost 3-0 thanks to Messi and his party-pooping ways (not in the scatological sense, that would be Madrid and their Kaka). Shifting away from 3 ball-playing MFs has sped up their transition to attack, which is a way better plan against Barca (case in point : Barca-Sociedad last week) than ruminating with the ball in the middle of the park (especially ironic given bloodthirsty predators like Pedro, Alves, and Xavi ripping the grass out of your mouth even before you regurgitate it up your 4th stomach...an image that completes the process of vaporizing the analogy beyond limits of even the methane that half digested rumination could supply). Assuming the same formation as Gijon, if Albelda, Ruiz, and Rami have the quality of game they had on Saturday, and with Pablo H., and Ever’s consistency never in question – I’m going for a 1-1 draw tonight, Betis to lose – Valencia to stay Liga 1st.
Which brings me to my weekly Football Happiness Index, a linear algorithm of Green minus Red on League positions that determine whether I sleep with a (x> 0) smile on my face, (-5<=x<0) a snarl with disturbing mutterings, or (x<-5) don’t sleep at all instead staking out nearest EPL fans with burning torches and dart guns laced with the venom of Polynesian snakes science hasn't even discovered yet... Greens : Valencia in top 2, Villarreal/Atletico in top 4, Madrid out of top 5, Sevilla in bottom 10... Juve/Roma in top 3, Napoli in top 7, Inter/AC out of top 7, Lazio in bottom 10. ManC on 1, Arsenal in bottom 10, Rest EPL teams to die violent deaths, the kind that were disqualified from Saw series for being too ghastly. Complement set of above to be Red. As you can see I go to bed (notice not “sleep”) with a score of -13... Any industrious sleuth who links this article with tomorrow’s news report of violent death of fan in East India region, will also be subjected to similarly well crafted demise (and that goes the same for the industrious sleuth who links the article with death of the industrious sleuth who linked the death of the EPL fan in East India region, and so on so forth..until only Liga fans and un-industrious sleuths are left standing). That being said, maybe I should remove EPL from my Happiness Index algo.
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