Unfortunately this isn't the Manchester Derby post my racy seductive title promised. Partly because my soul is still cleansing from the EPL-defilement of having to write about the ManU-Arsenal game (in case you were counting, testament no.24 to the UTTER USELESSNESS of the 2-man EPL Desk this blog was supposed to have), but mainly because no glee can possibly stay glee for us glee-ers if the glee-ees get to just stand up and walk away from decimation that caused said glee. How can I possibly be happy about a game which was supposed to have an extended aftermath of ManU fan suicides, rampant turncoatism, and effigy burning, but instead ended up being a chorus of "Oh yea??oh yea???? We'll see who's laughing at the end of the season!!"... What dark twisted regressive times we live in, where valiant fighters decapitate their opponents, and then have to watch headless bodies walk away (and bodyless heads roll away) while recovering strewn limbs, muttering curses and promising vengeance!! That cud chewing clown should be in some sarcophagus carefully embalmed and organs harvested, not giving a smug press conference!!! How much heart would Maximus have put into his performances if he thought "win or lose.. I'll just go and have fun. If I do lose, I'll just take responsibility for my actions and hope for a better tomorrow"
How are 40,000 crazed fans supposed to work up the bloodlust to return for next week's games knowing there exists no bone chilling finality to any slaughter?? Sepp Blatter needs to seriously rethink this whole "tomorrow is another day" bullshit Football is in danger of being mired in. With his tenure soon ending, I'm sure he wouldn't want to live with the infamous legacy of being in charge of the complete emasculation of football, ushering in an era of sport totally devoid of blood soaked grass, externally distributed entrails, and well fed lions. ManU and Liverpool have the most number of "followers" because its most fun to see their players die, a phenomenon that has been denied us for more than 20 years now... We grow impatient.. The few deaths that have been accorded us recently have all been bloodless, goreless and quite dishonorably bereft of blades, clubs, or sharp teeth... How are we supposed to cheer a heart attack???? At least rip it out their chest and hold it up for all to see the actual attack in progress... Now I'm not a violent savage, I'm not saying every game has to end in a blood shower, nor even the obvious rejoinder of "every EPL game", but at least massive scorelines or underdog upsets...or if not the entire team maybe a "dead man of the match" award for the worst player. Something...Anything... otherwise I'm shifting my allegiance over to Motorsport. What's that you say? I'm an asshole?? well excccuuuusse me for being the onllly person to react to the newspaper Simoncelli article by rushing to youtube for the crash video.....
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