The unexamined goal is not worth scoring, said Socrates - the footballer, not the namesake philosopher who has said something similar about some far more unimportant thing called 'life'. Meh, life. I agree with Socrates theerfore this post (or as Descartes said, cogito ergo blogposto) which will hopefully be the first post in a series which has been titled Goal Maal sticking to the tradition of coming up with bonkers bad titles on this blog. Each post will look at one goal every week (too ambitious I know, make it every 50 days) and pretend to analyse the socks off it by using pseud words and giving section headings such as "A critique of the false nine". The goal will hopefully be the best one that week, and will mostly be from La Liga given that they score the world's most beautifullest bestest amazingest goals NOT. It will be anything I choose to write about, it might even be my mid-term goals from my company's 360 degree feedback process.
This week we take a look at Arteta's goal against West Brom last week. I have to admit Valencia's goal was cough...better..cough.. but I didn't watch the entire game and it could be that Valencia belted crosses all day before that random flukey one touch move clicked. I would be praising the goal falsely then, much like modern football's number 9 and that is one thing I avoid. Commenting without watching the entire game, the pre game punditry, the post game punditry, the half time ads, the kasabian faaaair riiff - unthinkable to me!
You can watch the goal here so that you know what is it that I am talking about.
Verm to RVP: This is what we missed. A centre back who is not merely a huge chunk of flesh resembling a small bus made of flesh but also someone who can get forward and put intelligent passes. Vermaelen gets the ball, sees that RVP has dropped back into midfield and makes a quick pass past a bewildered West Brom guy.
RVP's touch: Fack. This, for me, is the moment that brought about the goal. With one brilliant first touch RVP renders the West Brom defender pointless, who sulks for a while and leaves for the Himalayas to ponder the point of it all. Not only has RVP freed himself from his marker but now also has acres of space on the right . The clueless defender jogs back half-heartedly letting Arteta make a run forward.
RVP to Ros to RVP: RVP takes it on his left and slides it Rosicky who has asked for it on the right wing. Immediately RVP darts into the box and asks for the return pass. Pass. And move. Rosicky, graceful at his best, slides it back to RVP who has now turned his back to the goal and is ready to lay it off to any onrushing midfielders who might a fancy a goal or two. Note Theo's run taking two defenders away from the right of the goalmouth creating space for RVP to run into.
RVP to Arteta to Goal: RVP lays it up for Arteta who has jogged his way from midfield (spotting a disillusioned-with-life defender on the way) and places it perfectly into the goal. Arteta then celebrates by pinching some imaginary nipples. Perfect finishing to a flowing move. A bit like the Arsenal of the old. Could improve on the celebrations though.
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