A disturbingly nice article on the Tunisia - Catalunya game on Goal.com here, disturbing not because they will soon take over the world and incite revolution among all minority sub-countries with their own languages and football club, but because the catalunya-less Spain side looks just as formidable. Replace Cazorla with Mata, push Silva back into MF as top of the diamond and revive dying duck Torres for front 2 and you have two spanish teams fighting none but each other for the world cup the way RM and FCB are fighting each other for the UCL this year and the last. On the other hand, we have England still calling themselves "British" and watching the 3 best players of 2010-12 in Charlie Adam, Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey, also "British" but playing independently for Scotland and Wales. How dearly would they like a reverse revolution to gobble these up and front a Britain team for this Euro!
Pep went on to talk about Catalonia and the Catalan people in the interview, stoking the fire of separatism in his usual "like..how can you not agree with me...I'm talking quietly and confidently!", something England and FIFA should fiercely support if only to balance this ridiculous inequality of talent creaking precariously on the Spain end of the scale. If FIFA were to take a cue from England's honest acceptance of their athletic shitness in keeping alive cretaceous fossils like the Commonwealth games with India, Belize, Burma, and the Solomon Islands just to win something, they could separate Spain from international tournaments and make them compete with just their colonies. Of course this would mean a tournament with Spain, Catalunya, Argentina, Chile, Uruguay, Paraguay, Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, Mexico and another tournament with.....the rest. No points for guessing the viewership of the latter. Unfortunately this is also a slippery slope with then being a BundesPolishLiga, a French African League, and the National Black Basketball Association broadcast from the Staples center while the real NBA gets recorded on an iPhone from the high school gymnasium next door, with Steve Nash and Jason Kidd playing 1 on 1 waiting for Nowitzki to come out of retirement once a year for the all-star 3-point challenge.
But there's a loophole we can exploit (by "loophole" I don't mean "third world nation"), seeing as how the Spanish colonies got independence before the British/French ones, how about just moving the colonial-squad-inclusion criteria back a few years so England can absorb not only the Bales and Adams, but also the Essiens, Ayews, Gyans, and Mikel Obis while Spain and Portugal wistfully look at their South American colony squads that could have been, and regretting their early independence grants. If there's two teams today who need some solid colonial help, its England and France. If FIFA actually allowed France to field Eto'o, Song, Keita, Drogba, and Yaya, maybe they wouldn't have to stage internal strife in these countries just to steal their abandoned babies back to France to play in Lyon and Marseilles as "naturalized citizens". Meanwhile, cutting of the Spanish melon is going to give us Basque, Catalonia and next quite possibly Andalusia and Galicia, we already have to watch 2 years of qualifiers involving Faroe islands, Malta, and Andorra!! All that build up just to watch them fall like dominos while 1 team just dominates the testicles out of everyone else. Banish world cup and just have the Imperial Cup with Spain, Portugal, England, France, Holland, Germany and Russia each fielding their respective third world slaves, winner gets to annexe a colony, rape its women, kill its men, and throw its children into the bondage of football academies!
Pep went on to talk about Catalonia and the Catalan people in the interview, stoking the fire of separatism in his usual "like..how can you not agree with me...I'm talking quietly and confidently!", something England and FIFA should fiercely support if only to balance this ridiculous inequality of talent creaking precariously on the Spain end of the scale. If FIFA were to take a cue from England's honest acceptance of their athletic shitness in keeping alive cretaceous fossils like the Commonwealth games with India, Belize, Burma, and the Solomon Islands just to win something, they could separate Spain from international tournaments and make them compete with just their colonies. Of course this would mean a tournament with Spain, Catalunya, Argentina, Chile, Uruguay, Paraguay, Peru, Colombia, Venezuela, Mexico and another tournament with.....the rest. No points for guessing the viewership of the latter. Unfortunately this is also a slippery slope with then being a BundesPolishLiga, a French African League, and the National Black Basketball Association broadcast from the Staples center while the real NBA gets recorded on an iPhone from the high school gymnasium next door, with Steve Nash and Jason Kidd playing 1 on 1 waiting for Nowitzki to come out of retirement once a year for the all-star 3-point challenge.
But there's a loophole we can exploit (by "loophole" I don't mean "third world nation"), seeing as how the Spanish colonies got independence before the British/French ones, how about just moving the colonial-squad-inclusion criteria back a few years so England can absorb not only the Bales and Adams, but also the Essiens, Ayews, Gyans, and Mikel Obis while Spain and Portugal wistfully look at their South American colony squads that could have been, and regretting their early independence grants. If there's two teams today who need some solid colonial help, its England and France. If FIFA actually allowed France to field Eto'o, Song, Keita, Drogba, and Yaya, maybe they wouldn't have to stage internal strife in these countries just to steal their abandoned babies back to France to play in Lyon and Marseilles as "naturalized citizens". Meanwhile, cutting of the Spanish melon is going to give us Basque, Catalonia and next quite possibly Andalusia and Galicia, we already have to watch 2 years of qualifiers involving Faroe islands, Malta, and Andorra!! All that build up just to watch them fall like dominos while 1 team just dominates the testicles out of everyone else. Banish world cup and just have the Imperial Cup with Spain, Portugal, England, France, Holland, Germany and Russia each fielding their respective third world slaves, winner gets to annexe a colony, rape its women, kill its men, and throw its children into the bondage of football academies!
Missed out on a good post title: The settlers of catalan.
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