A comeback post cartoon that tries too hard, obviously points to the fact that I had to purposely dumb down the cartoon so the overall aptness of the post covering Valencia's recent try-too-hard-yet-comeback performance clicked (with the usual rider that only I'm allowed to say it tried too hard, the rest of you probably just didn't understand the intricacies behind the joke). Los Che 4-0 against Alkmaar seals a semifinal with Atletico (who themselves were quite bad, in summary - Bilbao looking magnificently superior in the Europa league for some reason) after a game not particularly well played by either team. Valencia had probably the least possession I've seen outside of Barca games (although after I check the stats, it says 50%) this season, and looked to be running 2 steps ahead of their feet, trying altogether too hard to lay siege on goal without bothering about build up. Didn't really manifest in route one EPL or even lightning wing crossenal gunnerism, but more of the gambling ball-0.2% success rate-Cescity that breaks down most of Barca's moves (although in Pep's defense, Cescity when inside the box i.e Cesc playing forward against A.C looked both dangerous and less irritating when the balls failed, unfortunately he tired within 15mins and dropped back in MF, where Cescity is more irritating than even the word Cescity, or the strategy of meaningfully nonsensifying words by adding ism, ity, or ify).
While I'm tempted to branch this post off into that wonderful AC-Barca game, made tempting both by the itching need to salivate over Iniesta, Nesta, and the simultaneous realization that I had nothing interesting to add to "Valencia comeback, but tried too hard...", I shall still show enough restraint and return to Valencian topic at hand, made necessary both by the hardness of try that went into the cartoon, and the simultaneous realization that I had nothing interesting to add to "Iniesta and Nesta....like wow....like really....wow". The Valencia XI for the AZ game was probably the tallest I've ever seen, only Costa and Alba made it at all necessary for me to change my neck angle. Giants at Goal and DF aside, Mathieu Topal Jonas Soldado make for an average attack height that would almost touch an NBA player's knee - that's friggin gigantic.... contrast with days of yore as white smurfs Villa, Silva, Mata, Pablo, Banega ran the show. Last year, Barca bulldozing their way to the UCL was pointedly ironic given they were the smallest team in the competition, arguably (not much argument according to me though..) their sudden bulldozerization (not meaning to expurgate Shakespearean works of passages considered vulgar) hinged around Villa taking over from fi-fy-fo-Ibra. Small players are purportedly faster, turnier, and more skillful, meaning Small teams are probably the same.
Valencia/Barca have traditionally had midget teams (right back from 2000), while Madrid seem to have much taller ones. Which makes tomorrows massive Valencia-Madrid game slightly weird. If Parejo replaces Tino, it will be by far the tallest Valencia team I've seen, against probably the tallest collection of skillful players in world football - Kaka, Ronaldo, Ozil, Benzema, Alonso, Higuain (if you thought Ozil was short, he's 181 cm...). Marcelo is the only midget in RM today, and he's not even 1st choice, 181cm Coentrao is. They might be rubbishing the train of thought that short stuff have low centers of gravity and are therefore generally more skillful, but their primary skill is the blinding and scary pace of a runaway train (never comin back...wrong way on a one-way trackkk...ok off to youtube). The Valencian giants have no pace, don't runaway, and supposedly don't train either, they're just taking up space that a short player could have occupied (volumetrically speaking, that 2 short players could have occupied). Need Piatti and Pablo H. in on this game to add some much needed height disadvantage, think Rio Ferdinand slowly ruminating on the ball looking up for team mates and then kicking air just to realize Pedro had stolen the ball and was scurrying away quickly into the nearest semi circular hole in the wall. Game prediction : Valencia go ahead, lose 2-1. Nice stat in some midweek article that if comebacks were theoretically not allowed in Liga, Valencia would currently top the league. yay......
While I'm tempted to branch this post off into that wonderful AC-Barca game, made tempting both by the itching need to salivate over Iniesta, Nesta, and the simultaneous realization that I had nothing interesting to add to "Valencia comeback, but tried too hard...", I shall still show enough restraint and return to Valencian topic at hand, made necessary both by the hardness of try that went into the cartoon, and the simultaneous realization that I had nothing interesting to add to "Iniesta and Nesta....like wow....like really....wow". The Valencia XI for the AZ game was probably the tallest I've ever seen, only Costa and Alba made it at all necessary for me to change my neck angle. Giants at Goal and DF aside, Mathieu Topal Jonas Soldado make for an average attack height that would almost touch an NBA player's knee - that's friggin gigantic.... contrast with days of yore as white smurfs Villa, Silva, Mata, Pablo, Banega ran the show. Last year, Barca bulldozing their way to the UCL was pointedly ironic given they were the smallest team in the competition, arguably (not much argument according to me though..) their sudden bulldozerization (not meaning to expurgate Shakespearean works of passages considered vulgar) hinged around Villa taking over from fi-fy-fo-Ibra. Small players are purportedly faster, turnier, and more skillful, meaning Small teams are probably the same.
Valencia/Barca have traditionally had midget teams (right back from 2000), while Madrid seem to have much taller ones. Which makes tomorrows massive Valencia-Madrid game slightly weird. If Parejo replaces Tino, it will be by far the tallest Valencia team I've seen, against probably the tallest collection of skillful players in world football - Kaka, Ronaldo, Ozil, Benzema, Alonso, Higuain (if you thought Ozil was short, he's 181 cm...). Marcelo is the only midget in RM today, and he's not even 1st choice, 181cm Coentrao is. They might be rubbishing the train of thought that short stuff have low centers of gravity and are therefore generally more skillful, but their primary skill is the blinding and scary pace of a runaway train (never comin back...wrong way on a one-way trackkk...ok off to youtube). The Valencian giants have no pace, don't runaway, and supposedly don't train either, they're just taking up space that a short player could have occupied (volumetrically speaking, that 2 short players could have occupied). Need Piatti and Pablo H. in on this game to add some much needed height disadvantage, think Rio Ferdinand slowly ruminating on the ball looking up for team mates and then kicking air just to realize Pedro had stolen the ball and was scurrying away quickly into the nearest semi circular hole in the wall. Game prediction : Valencia go ahead, lose 2-1. Nice stat in some midweek article that if comebacks were theoretically not allowed in Liga, Valencia would currently top the league. yay......
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