Nothing like a nice Friday afternoon to sit back, crack open a freshly procured Bailey's and write a blogpost that gives away just how much this joblessness has been missed over the last 2 jobful weeks. By "nothing like" I mean there's a whole lot of better things to do, but doing them during work hours would be callous and irresponsible. Like if Victor Ruiz were to snort cocaine before the Chelsea game, oh wait that's probably what happened... In retrospect, it shouldn't have been too disappointing for a team without Ever Banega, Canales, Pablo, and Bruno to miss out on qualification, but Ruiz and Rami have been too good this season for us to suspect the horrendous nature of the goals conceded.
Chelsea hasn't changed one bit. For all the talk surrounding Vilas-Boas revolutionizing their style and daring to attack in the face of media/fan discontent and play free flowing football, they never had less than 9 players sitting deep. Tino Costa is a great passer, but unlike Banega, he can neither dribble into space, turn away from pressure, nor pass into feet and exchange 1-2's, instead finds his strength in through-balls and penetrative balls into space (even WE are way past the TWSS on this one by now...). No space, No Tino. Feghouli sucks and probably couldn't even get on the Chelsea squad!! (ironic laughter in coughing bursts..) Meanwhile, Soldado basked in the incredible over-rating that is being showered on him this season like a God's overfull bladder, Barragan (a Liverpool mole) used his opportunity to show Chelsea that with his brainless incessant crossing, he would be a great winter signing for them, and Jonas did what he usually does - nothing. For someone of his passing ability, and by virtue of supposedly playing "in the hole", it was shocking to see that the first time he dropped back to link up with a shut-out MF was on 36 minutes, after which he promptly disappeared again for the rest of the game.
While Albelda and Alba toiled away at their usual high levels, and Tino stoically continued to try through balls between the few hair-width gaps Chelsea could manage despite having a final third player density of 3 per cm square, the rest of the team just sat down and waited for the whistle. It isn't often I review a defeat to an EPL side without the prime villain being painted as stupid refereeing, ruffian behavior, ugly direct football, and negative tactics (although the latter 2 were true...), but this was a ridiculously bad performance by Valencia. I knew something sinister was in the air right from the buildup when a bigot like Carlton Palmer said "Valencia are playing great football" and predicted a 2-1 victory for them! Even the first Drogba goal wasn't enough to make me lose hope, until of course they impotently prodded away at Chelsea's vagina-dentata for 30minutes and then Ruiz invited Ramires for a friendly buttrape.
You know it wasn't the run-of-the-mill loss to an EPL side when even the twin Manchester knockouts weren't celebrated in nearly enough pomp and splendor as they deserve. To be honest, with Valencia gone, Barca are the only interest left in the UCL - and I'd much rather ManU made it through so there might be a chance to watch Barca maul them again. Then again, there's always Chelsea, Arsenal, and Inter for them to maul, and now Valencia joining Atletico, Bilbao (and ugh..Sevilla) to challenge ManU,C in Europa! Nothing like a nice Friday afternoon to sit and draw disturbingly violent images of Barca and Valencia players dressed in red underwear and golden shields and spears dismembering Chelsea/Arsenal and ManU/ManC players respectively dressed in Persian whatever it is Persians used to wear back then...
Chelsea hasn't changed one bit. For all the talk surrounding Vilas-Boas revolutionizing their style and daring to attack in the face of media/fan discontent and play free flowing football, they never had less than 9 players sitting deep. Tino Costa is a great passer, but unlike Banega, he can neither dribble into space, turn away from pressure, nor pass into feet and exchange 1-2's, instead finds his strength in through-balls and penetrative balls into space (even WE are way past the TWSS on this one by now...). No space, No Tino. Feghouli sucks and probably couldn't even get on the Chelsea squad!! (ironic laughter in coughing bursts..) Meanwhile, Soldado basked in the incredible over-rating that is being showered on him this season like a God's overfull bladder, Barragan (a Liverpool mole) used his opportunity to show Chelsea that with his brainless incessant crossing, he would be a great winter signing for them, and Jonas did what he usually does - nothing. For someone of his passing ability, and by virtue of supposedly playing "in the hole", it was shocking to see that the first time he dropped back to link up with a shut-out MF was on 36 minutes, after which he promptly disappeared again for the rest of the game.
While Albelda and Alba toiled away at their usual high levels, and Tino stoically continued to try through balls between the few hair-width gaps Chelsea could manage despite having a final third player density of 3 per cm square, the rest of the team just sat down and waited for the whistle. It isn't often I review a defeat to an EPL side without the prime villain being painted as stupid refereeing, ruffian behavior, ugly direct football, and negative tactics (although the latter 2 were true...), but this was a ridiculously bad performance by Valencia. I knew something sinister was in the air right from the buildup when a bigot like Carlton Palmer said "Valencia are playing great football" and predicted a 2-1 victory for them! Even the first Drogba goal wasn't enough to make me lose hope, until of course they impotently prodded away at Chelsea's vagina-dentata for 30minutes and then Ruiz invited Ramires for a friendly buttrape.
You know it wasn't the run-of-the-mill loss to an EPL side when even the twin Manchester knockouts weren't celebrated in nearly enough pomp and splendor as they deserve. To be honest, with Valencia gone, Barca are the only interest left in the UCL - and I'd much rather ManU made it through so there might be a chance to watch Barca maul them again. Then again, there's always Chelsea, Arsenal, and Inter for them to maul, and now Valencia joining Atletico, Bilbao (and ugh..Sevilla) to challenge ManU,C in Europa! Nothing like a nice Friday afternoon to sit and draw disturbingly violent images of Barca and Valencia players dressed in red underwear and golden shields and spears dismembering Chelsea/Arsenal and ManU/ManC players respectively dressed in Persian whatever it is Persians used to wear back then...
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