If at first you don't....

If at first you don't succeed, retroactively redefine KPIs to stoop to level of failure (which in hindsight seems too obvious a corpo-ism to not be some dilbert comic somewhere, no I don't think dilbert is funny, how'd you guess….), now that I've vaguely connected the post title and the cartoon, let me proceed to spin a yarn that dangerously flirts with the most thoroughly frayed strings of relation. Last week, most teams sealed their destinies, barring anything dramatically..well..dramatic on the last day - I explore whether they feel a sense of achievement (however trivial) considering their expectations at the beginning of the season. 

Messi : is going to be Pichichi and Golden Boot, Cron beat him to it last year and Barca said the league was more important. Cron beats him to the league this year, and Barca saying Pep's and Messi's moments are more important. If you don't play to win, why play at all, Barcelona....they always win. 

Valencia : 3rd place ist unseren. Heil. They finished 3rd last year 25 points off the top, KPI this year would have been 3rd but only by 10-15 points, and UCL Quarters. They've been 3rd 28 rounds of the season, an avg position of 3.25, made it to the Europa semis, but finished thirty-friggin-six points off the top - B. 

Malaga : seal 4th, considering their final fixture. Finished 11th last year, but UCL qualification would have been minimum KPI, should be celebrating given a strong finish after a miserable start - B +. 

Atletico : I see them losing their last game in the interest of my Villarreal fandom so 7th place. Given their squad, UCL qualification should have been a KPI, although through the course of their dismally inconsistent season I suppose that was downward revised. Europa finals tonight will tell - ?. 

Bilbao : Going to finish below their last year's position BUT Qualified already for Europa next year, in 2 Cup finals, 1 of which I expect them to win. Destroyed the most despicable team on the planet ManU. AND Bielsa not poached by Barca. A++. 

Mallorca/Levante : Finished 1 and 2 points respectively off relegation last year - this year looking set for top half and quite possibly Europa for both! A. 

Granada : Looking on track to fulfill my bold prediction of dropping from 15 to 18 and relegation, especially after their quite brilliant ban-monging after the RM game. But they were one of the promoted teams so meh KPI couldn't have been much more than 17 - B - . 

Villarreal : F. 

Zaragoza : Not there yet but....What..an..escape. My byutiful Zaragoza. Despite lowly Granada casting aspersions on the Zaragozan referee in the RM game, this has been a stunning fightback by Zaragoza in 2012. That being said, they finished 13th last season and always play really brilliant football, so I imagine their KPI was top half. So wonderful escape (not yet final obviously...) aside, C+. 

And on the topic of base humans feeling happy about trivial achievements : who noticed I got 8/10 right on Liga Quiniela as opposed to Phil Ball 5/10! My 6/10 on Serie A has noone to compare with, so I'm just going to assume that's awesome too. More on Serie A next week after the final positions, but for now let me just say.... Juventus. Booyakasha. and of course this really heart warming and nostalgic (if you're a fan...and I suppose after this invincible season there's going to be no dearth of "diehard" Juve fans)  goal.com timeline too.