It's strangely popular practice for some reason, to measure the success of our intellect by educational degrees, work achievements, research papers, and the ability to win Settlers of Catan with a gap of 6 points (popularity of said practice is still being evaluated, although now it strikes me that the popularity and its status as practice are probably inversely proportional) - I measure the intellect's successful plunge across another sewer flooded week by the number of times I feel like Lucky Eddie from Hagar, 0 : Sped across sewer in James Cameron's Mariana trench probe. 2-3 : Swam across sewer with snorkel on back of a turtle 5-6 : Swam across sewer without snorkel and with Turtle on back >10 : Drowned halfway, eaten by turtle (monstrous sewer turtle, it's not completely humiliating...). This week's wonderful Lucky Eddie episode involves our protagonist being told by Hagar to keep a lookout on the pier, with invaders expected. Invading hordes proceed to flood the village by Horse, Foot, Jeep, Helicopter, Jetpack and pillage away while Eddie watches the pier stoically. Eddie - me. Pier - Zaragoza. Pillage Village : Villarreal. Where...the...f%^&....did that come from!!!
In hindsight it could have seemed a bit optimistic to expect them to take at least a point off Europa Champions Atletico - who had absolutely nothing to play for, were coming off the back of a successful and tiring European campaign - but I wouldn't really know, since there's a huuuge banner saying "SEGUNDA" that's blocking my hindview mirror (that sounded much closer to an enema than I'd expected....) It's been 6 days and I'm still in shock, a looottt more in shock than last year's Deportivo relegation - that was a team whose golden age players were gone, and were playing without the rich talented squad Villarreal have. This shock is more like their Galician rivals Celta Vigo going down in 2003-04, but that was just the professional shock of a really good team going down, this was personal.... this was one of my teams! (yes I have sooo many teams. If you have a problem with that, what do you think of your mom having sooo many men.) After that unwarranted but vastly satisfying jab, which wasn't very good come to think of it, let's get to the conspiracy theories. I was really looking for some dirt on Granada aka ugly ass team playing ugly ass football, but unfortunately there came a barrage of dirt on Zaragoza (yes another team I like, if you have a problem with that, you're.....like.....stupid........there I said it).
After that unwarranted vastly satisfying AND quite good jab, let's get to the conspiracy theories... Rayo tells Granada that they're safe. Villarreal tells Atletico they have nothing to play for, and Getafe have 3 men sent off against Zaragoza... Zaragozan referee apparently "screws" Granada in the previous round resulting in their loss to Real Madrid, a fixture Granada had obviously taken for granted to be a facile victory - not unreasonable given a high flying season where they've scored 11 goals less than CRonaldo alone. What a sham, I can't believe this ugly ass team gets to stay in Liga! or to rephrase, I can't believe one more ugly ass team gets to stay in Liga (a close thing between Levante, Sevilla, and Granada.... and I'm not really getting into Levante's blinding season...). But back to the Villareallycrap, what a woefully hilariously off-the-mark post this was, I assume at the time I would have been hoping my caustic tough-love would spur the team on to realizing their potential and winning back my favor... now I sadly conclude our 1 reader wasn't the Villarreal coach..
I can't believe nothhinggg changed from that pathetic game against Barca, unless you count Rossi and Nilmar missing pretty much most of the season after that. Enough dandruff has been shaken from Lotina's target-marked scalp, so I'll take the high road and... WTF WERE THEY THINKING????? Anyway, slight silver lining is both Depor AND Celta are on their way back! How awesome is that. Villarreal B get demoted to the third division since two teams can't compete in the same league, I was wondering if it might be allowed for them to get promoted up to Liga? Villarreal B in Liga, Villarreal in Segunda.... but possible ruling aside, there's also the small matter of them being 15 points off the last playoff spot, with 4 games in hand.... impossible? maybe Lotina can help, after all I thought Villarreal getting relegated was impossible.... ok improbable... actually it looked quite likely but WTF WERE THEY THINKING!!!!!! LOTINA???? Joins Hiddink, Koeman, and Ranieri in my blacklist.
P.S : The Champions League final is tonight, did anyone notice? Most inconspicuous UCL Final in modern times! Chelsea probably going to do what they do best. Nothing. but end up winning anyway... Really hope Toni Kroos starts, coz me likes what me sees (and I'm not licking my lips while saying that, so don't imagine it...)
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