That I copied the title from f365.com is irrelevant
That I now feel a little bad for this unfloggable over-dead horse is irreleventer still
That Wenger anyway went ahead and blamed injuries for said over-death is irrelevantest
Now that we've set the boundaries of what can be broached on this post, let's talk about the only thing left, music and movies... But in all seriousness, I used to think the Saw series was the pinnacle of violence on TV, but on August 28th ESPN would better it quite well... For the intended humor with which the game preview was compared with a horror book/movie, there was nothing funny about the horror we had to witness. I can only imagine what people who don't hate Arsenal must be thinking (yes there exists such a species apparently...at least it existed...not sure now).
1. Jenkinson : Hands down the worst fullback I've ever seen. He makes Jonathon Zebina look like Maldini. Fortunately, I was too often distracted by irritating commentators saying "Oh that's a terrible cross, but then he's a defender" "Oh that's terrible defending, but then he was attacking" "Oh he's just standing there, but at least he isn't scoring an own goal" to actively make a voodoo Jenkinson doll and throw it out my 5th floor window. (In hindsight, this explains Koscielny's and Coquelin's play through the first half - 80% of which they spent sprawled on their asses, someone was throwing their voodoo dolls on the floor)
2. Arsenal have a Minimum Ugliness Maintenance Quotient : When Gervinho, Frimpong and Song were out, I thought well but there still is the eyesore called Sagna. Then he called in to work sick, it was obvious God was striking down the ugly. So what does Djorou go and do? Why, Paint his head yellow of course! I wont be too hasty to judge him though, maybe he's actually a natural blonde and was dyeing his hair black all this time out of shame. You might find the notion ridonculous but go back and look at his offside trap, never heard no dumb-blackhead jokes...
3. Ramsey was wasted : He's no Cesc, but he's one of the few Arsenal players who can do basic things like just controlling a pass when marked. So Uncle Wenger thinks Oolala je has no garcon so i veel ask heem to do ze everysing.... For all that commentators criticized the high backline, anyone who's played football would know you have to play a high backline when you have midfielders who collect from deep and then carry into advanced positions, the more dynamic the midfield the higher a defence needs to sit. Considering his backline with a combined age of Rooney's dog (in man-years ofcourse, otherwise it would be an absurd thing to say!) had absolutely no chance of maintaining a highline effectively or recovering once broken, Wenger had to have the sense to play a much more static midfield. But obviously "dynamic" sounds a lot better than "static", quite like how assimilate sounds nicer than gawk, although the latter doesn't really mean anything in this context...or in any context...
4. Walcott still can't grow a moustache : This alone is not reason to want him on the set of a Saw Series, but throw in what a stupid brainless hamster he is, and that he invariably ends up scoring and winning some applause, and I have enough reasons. Actually just 2, but that half-moustache and his pigheaded expression really annoy the hell out of me.
5. Someone should teacher Wenger the French word for "Gym" : In May we saw this same red thug brigade come up against the tiniest team in Europe - Barca (Tommy Lee Jones' gun in MIB anyone?) and we might be tempted to say hey muscle is clearly not all important. Of course maybe Messi is just a tad better than Arshavin, Xavi marginally better than Ramsey, in fact the jury is still out on that one. Arsenal's players : Barca : : Earth : Upsilon Andromeda B. Don't look it up, take it from me its really far. Not a single Arsenal player makes his jersey look tight, in fact all the jerseys look like they're actually made for the Arsenal women's team, who probably eat these guys for breakfast during training everyday. It took all of 4 months for Kun back at Atletico to bulk up from a puny punk to the solid block you see at ManC today... Le Gymnase tres essentiel - good for the heart, great place to pick up chicks (although it might not be the best thing to hear "heyy you're that Arsenal guy who got buttf****d the other night, do you have Cleverley's number!!)
That I now feel a little bad for this unfloggable over-dead horse is irreleventer still
That Wenger anyway went ahead and blamed injuries for said over-death is irrelevantest
Now that we've set the boundaries of what can be broached on this post, let's talk about the only thing left, music and movies... But in all seriousness, I used to think the Saw series was the pinnacle of violence on TV, but on August 28th ESPN would better it quite well... For the intended humor with which the game preview was compared with a horror book/movie, there was nothing funny about the horror we had to witness. I can only imagine what people who don't hate Arsenal must be thinking (yes there exists such a species apparently...at least it existed...not sure now).
1. Jenkinson : Hands down the worst fullback I've ever seen. He makes Jonathon Zebina look like Maldini. Fortunately, I was too often distracted by irritating commentators saying "Oh that's a terrible cross, but then he's a defender" "Oh that's terrible defending, but then he was attacking" "Oh he's just standing there, but at least he isn't scoring an own goal" to actively make a voodoo Jenkinson doll and throw it out my 5th floor window. (In hindsight, this explains Koscielny's and Coquelin's play through the first half - 80% of which they spent sprawled on their asses, someone was throwing their voodoo dolls on the floor)
2. Arsenal have a Minimum Ugliness Maintenance Quotient : When Gervinho, Frimpong and Song were out, I thought well but there still is the eyesore called Sagna. Then he called in to work sick, it was obvious God was striking down the ugly. So what does Djorou go and do? Why, Paint his head yellow of course! I wont be too hasty to judge him though, maybe he's actually a natural blonde and was dyeing his hair black all this time out of shame. You might find the notion ridonculous but go back and look at his offside trap, never heard no dumb-blackhead jokes...
3. Ramsey was wasted : He's no Cesc, but he's one of the few Arsenal players who can do basic things like just controlling a pass when marked. So Uncle Wenger thinks Oolala je has no garcon so i veel ask heem to do ze everysing.... For all that commentators criticized the high backline, anyone who's played football would know you have to play a high backline when you have midfielders who collect from deep and then carry into advanced positions, the more dynamic the midfield the higher a defence needs to sit. Considering his backline with a combined age of Rooney's dog (in man-years ofcourse, otherwise it would be an absurd thing to say!) had absolutely no chance of maintaining a highline effectively or recovering once broken, Wenger had to have the sense to play a much more static midfield. But obviously "dynamic" sounds a lot better than "static", quite like how assimilate sounds nicer than gawk, although the latter doesn't really mean anything in this context...or in any context...
4. Walcott still can't grow a moustache : This alone is not reason to want him on the set of a Saw Series, but throw in what a stupid brainless hamster he is, and that he invariably ends up scoring and winning some applause, and I have enough reasons. Actually just 2, but that half-moustache and his pigheaded expression really annoy the hell out of me.
5. Someone should teacher Wenger the French word for "Gym" : In May we saw this same red thug brigade come up against the tiniest team in Europe - Barca (Tommy Lee Jones' gun in MIB anyone?) and we might be tempted to say hey muscle is clearly not all important. Of course maybe Messi is just a tad better than Arshavin, Xavi marginally better than Ramsey, in fact the jury is still out on that one. Arsenal's players : Barca : : Earth : Upsilon Andromeda B. Don't look it up, take it from me its really far. Not a single Arsenal player makes his jersey look tight, in fact all the jerseys look like they're actually made for the Arsenal women's team, who probably eat these guys for breakfast during training everyday. It took all of 4 months for Kun back at Atletico to bulk up from a puny punk to the solid block you see at ManC today... Le Gymnase tres essentiel - good for the heart, great place to pick up chicks (although it might not be the best thing to hear "heyy you're that Arsenal guy who got buttf****d the other night, do you have Cleverley's number!!)
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