Remember the part in DeadHouse Gates where Kalam stands with his knife over Laseen and has to deal with a chilling realization that after all those vendetta-filled years, it might just so happen that he actually hates someone else more than Laseen....OK so maybe you don't since its only a vaguely important chapter of the relatively less weighty 2nd book out of 10 from a series that the 5 odd people know about, out of whom 4 know about it only from the computer game... still, I think its quite relevant to mention here if only to point out that its the greatest thing existing in print. Although I read the e-book so i wouldn't really know about the print part... Right..so I was saying, I'm considering the cold cold possibility that, after all these vendetta-filled years, perhaps ManU ISN'T my most hated team in the whole galaxy. Of course, I still want someone to do things to them that you wouldn't find even in the lyrics of "Exhumed" albums (you need to actually read them to understand why I say "someone" and not "me"...), and of course I also still want someone to do things to their fans that you wouldn't find even in the news report of what someone did to the team, that wasn't on Exhumed lyrics... But like a piece of snot that insistently sticks to the inside of the nostril despite repeated blowing, Arsenal and its fans have somehow replaced ManU, ManU indian fans, various bodily necessities, jungle insects (by jungle I mean Siliguri), and Hindi songs, as top most annoying objects invented.
Take this Cesc drama. I really couldn't care less about what he does, although Gijon B team might be slightly stronger if he did leave Arsenal and join "Barcelona", but the number of people venting opinions on this has stunned me into caring, if only to marvel at how bigoted people can get. Arsenal players are divided between "He's too true blue gunner to leave" and "He aint no real man, we don't need him". Barca players are quite undividedly and diabolically in love with him (diabolically because its quite obvious their statements about how "he'll fit in perfectly here" refer to the amount of cubic centimeters left on the bench, just enough for a small-framed individual like Cesc...and by bench I mean B team bench) but I'm more annoyed with reporters interviewing a different Barca player a day and popping the same question and then printing the same answer, it's not like Xavi would say "I want sex with Cesc, Cexc" on Tuesday and then "eww gross, Cesc sucks, Cusc" on Wednesday...
I've been quite impressed with Barca fans on various forums, their comments are almost unequivocally that Cesc isn't needed one bit (obviously with a few fanatics harping about how he was Barca property in the first place, and that his "requirement" is irrelevant...). Arsenal fans have been at their glorious best though, the stench of moral high ground still overpowering my senses, and considering my current hotel is right next to Gangtok's open sewage system, it's saying a lot. I'm not one to be happy with the Barca players' shameless seduction of their lil princess, but I find it an activity all too common in football to be classified "moral low ground", now seducing the princess and then making her sweep floors, THAT would be low ground although it's altogether too hilarious to get past the ROFL and care about morals.After 2 years of fuming though, a) I'm quite impressed Arsenal fans still haven't got tired of it, b) I'm quite impressed the media still hasn't got tired of it, and c) JACKASS WILSHERE STARTS PURRING ABOUT HOW MATA SHOULD JOIN A "BIG" CLUB LIKE ARSENAL AND THAT HE WOULD FIT IN THERE PERFECTLY!!!!!
His hypocrisy is testament to the Arsenal blood as he is the ONLY unpoached youngster to develop from the Arsenal youth teams in god knows how many years. Really wish someone would poach him quick, and I mean the set vicious bear trap, remove teeth for medicine, skin for mattress, and organs for soup kind of poaching (it strikes me now that the crack into two, roast slowly on dry pan and then consume with toast kind of poaching might also be acceptable, for people without taste buds at least). For all their "youth system" philosophy, they have poached more youngsters than any EPL (and I assume hence any League.. although Portugal's rape and plunder of S.American youth systems would come close) team. Spanish youngsters can't sign contracts till 18, a rule Arsenal (and Sivakasi-England) have taken advantage of (and frankly, why not...shameless but effective).In the past few years, besides Cesc, Arsenal have kidnapped Jon Toral, Ignasi Miguel, Fran merida and Hector Bellerin from the Barcelona La Masia alone, what's worse they're still at it, currently courting the "two next big stars" of Barcelona (and of course consequently of Spain) Gerard Deulofeu and Xavi Quintilla.
ManU seem a lot more dignified in their child abduction, with Pique being let go by Barca intentionally (like Jeffren to Lisbon a few days back), and Parma, Lazio doing the same for Rossi and Macheda back in the day. I'm not surprised then that the most decibels for Cecs's return come from La Masia graduates like Xavi, Iniesta, Puyol and Pique who must view this as big scary pimp tempting poor girl on streets bereft of income with shiny cash and dresses, and then prostituting her in front of millions. (you'll notice I'm going to quickly sign off before addressing how "poor girl" and "streets" were used as metaphors for La Masia kids and the academy - the brightest talents in ALL of Spain sitting pretty in a house basking in the knowledge that everyone knows them to be the brightest talents in ALL of Spain...)
No comments:
Post a Comment