Firstly, you know who you are Joke Police... now that we got that mystery out of the way (in the silky smooth way directors address the "how will I know" question with "...you just do"), lets play a game... Answer : Drool on keyboard, champagne on Moto GP supermodels, R Kelly peeing on teenagers, Cristiano Ronaldo sticking his thing in a plugpoint (unfortunately, I didn't do MS in U.S so I don't use "electrical socket"..yet... like y'know..ohmygad..), Sting rays killing doofus Australians, Fat Ronaldo when someone finally pricks him with a needle, Atletico - Valencia game. yes the question is "What goes fffffffzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz?". Worst football match of the season so far (excluding EPL, hence the use of word "football"). Tino Costa had his worst game since the Chelsea 0-3, and together with Mathieu, had more long balls attempted than Manchester United... Rami and Ruiz thumped quite a few themselves in what was a Valencia Defense - Atletico Defense - Valencia Defense match.
I'm going to be at my gracious best. All Emery's fault. For a team that thrives on possession, he formed up with just Costa - Albelda in midfield, and Soldado, Piatti, Alba, and Pablo in front, of whom arguably only Pablo ever plays a back pass to retain possession (who anyway had a stunningly terrible game - all in all, a good day for the ball, changed sides every 2 seconds, like Mrs.Wayne Bridge). Surprisingly knowledgeable commentator, who brought up that Valencia remain the one side in Liga to have never repeated a starting XI in 2 consecutive games. He of course undid all my gradually built up admiration by commenting that Jonas was one of the Liga players of the season upon his substitution. Admittedly, the ground passing significantly improved after he came in, linking up with MF, but its going to take more than significant improvement on this 20 miles below rock bottom performance to make up for his all too often missing in action status on the field.
Banega on the bench was ok given their Barca knockout tomorrow, but Piatti in the hole has failed 3 times before already, and Alba suffers without a ball playing creator in the middle to receive his rapid 1-2's and pick up his runs behind the RB. The Mathieu - Alba overlap and switch (one of the tactical highlights of this season for me, along with Taddei at Wingback / De Rossi at Stopper in Roma, unless of course we count the highfails of Pirlo at defensive MF, Fabregas as box to box, Busquets at CB, and the ridiculous tactical globe placed on Borja Valero's vertebrae. holy relegation batman if he gets an injury) didn't happen till the 57th minute for the first time, and Albelda had none of his calm on the ball without someone in MF he could trust with possession. The one bright spot of the day was the return of Dismal Diego! I've been gnashing my teeth at how well he's been playing after proving such a damp squib at Juve, this game was quite enjoyable therefore to see him do absolutely nothing but get fouled and foul people. Excellent.
Fortunately, I was coming off the back of a gleeful 4-0 Roma thumping of Inter (as in coming off watching it, not playing...this metatarsal injury is so frustrating), so the collateral damage my brain suffered from watching the snooze fest was less felt. But what a week of Collateral Damage, Marcelino finally gets axed for their 1-2 loss to Villarreal (ironically, the first game in almost 4yrs that I've seen Sevilla play attacking football), Torres gets attacked again for what hardly seemed his fault, and a hilarious Ibra red card vs Napoli where poor Nocerino gets slapped for no reason. My moment of the day, De Sanctiis sees yellow for pouncing on the linesman, what a jackass!!
In other news, RM grind out a 1-0 that should have been 1-1 with a blatant Pepe penalty. Barca sends out a team with a huge banner that says "who cares about winning the league when we have the Copa Del Rey!!", and I get proven wrong for cursing the televised Udinese - Fiorentina game instead of the Juve - Siena game after the former's pulsating 2-3 and the latter's reportedly dull 0-0. Also in other news, was embarrassingly productive at work yesterday. Feeling quite dirty. More capitalist pig MNC dollars made by my bloodstained hands :( how do I sleep at night... (apart from 200$ poorer and a bill from "Hoes R Us" I mean)
I'm going to be at my gracious best. All Emery's fault. For a team that thrives on possession, he formed up with just Costa - Albelda in midfield, and Soldado, Piatti, Alba, and Pablo in front, of whom arguably only Pablo ever plays a back pass to retain possession (who anyway had a stunningly terrible game - all in all, a good day for the ball, changed sides every 2 seconds, like Mrs.Wayne Bridge). Surprisingly knowledgeable commentator, who brought up that Valencia remain the one side in Liga to have never repeated a starting XI in 2 consecutive games. He of course undid all my gradually built up admiration by commenting that Jonas was one of the Liga players of the season upon his substitution. Admittedly, the ground passing significantly improved after he came in, linking up with MF, but its going to take more than significant improvement on this 20 miles below rock bottom performance to make up for his all too often missing in action status on the field.
Banega on the bench was ok given their Barca knockout tomorrow, but Piatti in the hole has failed 3 times before already, and Alba suffers without a ball playing creator in the middle to receive his rapid 1-2's and pick up his runs behind the RB. The Mathieu - Alba overlap and switch (one of the tactical highlights of this season for me, along with Taddei at Wingback / De Rossi at Stopper in Roma, unless of course we count the highfails of Pirlo at defensive MF, Fabregas as box to box, Busquets at CB, and the ridiculous tactical globe placed on Borja Valero's vertebrae. holy relegation batman if he gets an injury) didn't happen till the 57th minute for the first time, and Albelda had none of his calm on the ball without someone in MF he could trust with possession. The one bright spot of the day was the return of Dismal Diego! I've been gnashing my teeth at how well he's been playing after proving such a damp squib at Juve, this game was quite enjoyable therefore to see him do absolutely nothing but get fouled and foul people. Excellent.
Fortunately, I was coming off the back of a gleeful 4-0 Roma thumping of Inter (as in coming off watching it, not playing...this metatarsal injury is so frustrating), so the collateral damage my brain suffered from watching the snooze fest was less felt. But what a week of Collateral Damage, Marcelino finally gets axed for their 1-2 loss to Villarreal (ironically, the first game in almost 4yrs that I've seen Sevilla play attacking football), Torres gets attacked again for what hardly seemed his fault, and a hilarious Ibra red card vs Napoli where poor Nocerino gets slapped for no reason. My moment of the day, De Sanctiis sees yellow for pouncing on the linesman, what a jackass!!
In other news, RM grind out a 1-0 that should have been 1-1 with a blatant Pepe penalty. Barca sends out a team with a huge banner that says "who cares about winning the league when we have the Copa Del Rey!!", and I get proven wrong for cursing the televised Udinese - Fiorentina game instead of the Juve - Siena game after the former's pulsating 2-3 and the latter's reportedly dull 0-0. Also in other news, was embarrassingly productive at work yesterday. Feeling quite dirty. More capitalist pig MNC dollars made by my bloodstained hands :( how do I sleep at night... (apart from 200$ poorer and a bill from "Hoes R Us" I mean)
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